We’re Splitting Up

It’s not working out and my boyfriend and I are splitting up. It’s a relief. We weren’t really together for that long, only about a year, but we were trying this whole monogamy thing and I realised very early on that it just wasn’t working for me. Especially because the sex between us wasn’t that great. Okay, he had a great arse and the kind of body I like – all tall and slim and smooth – but I just think he wasn’t that into sex. A lot of English guys I meet aren’t really into sex. They like to suck cock and they like to get fucked and they’ll play with my tits if I tell them, but they don’t know how to spend hours just having sex, like sucking and licking and exploring every part of the body with your hands and tongue and stuff. I’m sounding like a romantic, and maybe I am. But I love sex and I like a lot of it and I like to get into the whole body of someone, not just his arsehole and his mouth. Kissing and arse-fucking is great, but there’s more to sex than that. Even in the sauna I need that, even in a sex club. The best sex in places like that is when you come across a guy who’s really into men’s bodies, really into my body, and they want to stick their tongues everywhere, and nothing disgusts them. I think those are the guys who are into being gay, who are so fucking pleased that  they don’t have to be in the closet and can just go out and do everything they’ve always wanted to do since they were about five years old and falling in love with their classmates and being fascinated by the hairy chests of their dad’s friends and waiting for the gym teacher to tell everyone to hit the showers. That’s the smell I want when I have sex, the stink of locker rooms and sweaty shitholes. I used to date this guy who insisted I brush my teeth after I’d rimmed him. He loved being ruimmed, but the thought of then kissing me, with maybe a bit of his own stink on my breath, really disgusted him. I fucking love my own smell. Sometime I like to stick my finger in my arse before I jerk off and really give my hand a good sniff.

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About Michael Wynne
Writer and illustrator. Author of The Bathhouse Hornbook, Look Dick Look, The Confessions of a Sex Addict, Part 1, and My Life in Masturbation.

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